The last time I went on holiday to a resort in the UK I was aged 8. The highlight of the action was a lake with pedalos. My sister and I jumped in eagerly and pedalled to the centre of the lake where we got little-leg fatigue and became stuck. We went round and round in a circle until my dad rolled up his trousers and waded in to drag us back to shore.
Nowadays the entertainments have gone up a notch and, at Butlin’s, I made my debut in a petrol go-kart. My driving performance put everyone in mind of Hooks in Police Academy – I felt like I was hurtling round the track – I realised I wasn’t when the man told me to take my foot off the brake. Just for the record, it wasn’t on the brake – I just like life in the slow lane!